Thursday, March 02, 2006


Alito's Letter to Dobson Called 'Just Thanks'

Today Justice Alito's spokesperson described a note from Mr. Alito to James Dobson, founder of Focus on the Family, as 'Just thanks.' Celebrity Jihad has obtained a copy of the letter and in the interest of the War on Terror, domestic syping, and the future elimination of anything gay including Abba, good haircuts, and soft hands on men, we are reprinting the letter.

Dear Dobbikins,

I just wanted to drop you a line letting you know that I really enjoyed our time last night. For once you let me be Heath and for that I will hold in my heart a million little blessings for the Lord. Lighting the bedroom with seven hundred seventy seven candles was such a lovely touch. And though I was a little confused when you poured Astroglide on my forehead, when you declared me a son of God, I really understood. I hope you liked the way I slowly, slowly unbuttoned your special cowpoke jeans. I knew you couldn't believe that I was able to get them off without disturbing your ass-less chaps. It's one of my many hidden talents I have yet to reveal to you, oh Dobbikins. You seemed to enjoy that special little flicker of my tongue that I have perfected over the years with President Bush. Did you like that moment when I went "old skool" and reminded you of the true definition of a hummer? That was a little hymn I remembered from my altar boy days. I just want to say, my love, that I know there is a lot more Christian cock I can suck, and my mouth is wide open. I look forward to a long future with you and the rest of the fine white, old, male specimens of the Religious Right. I just thank the Lord that I'm male and that I can't get knocked up like those whores who consider themselves the other half of the population. Such bitches! We'll get them, though Dobbikins. We will.
I love you fair, Dobby. I love you.
Your master, your servant.
Justypie Alito

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