Monday, February 13, 2006
Vice President Cheney Beta Tests New Rifle--Results Unsuccessful
Yesterday Vice President Cheney tested the new Smith and Wesson hunting rifle with mixed results. Cheney said, "The gun was pretty good, but it seems that the barrel must be angled ninety degrees. It's so weird, because I was aiming at the little Iraqi boy in front of me, but the white guy who's given tons of money to me and my party wound up with a face full of pellets. It's a lot like that time I was serving in 'Nam and I was getting a blow job from a hooker, and I was aimed at her face, but it got all over her tits instead. Just like that, except I wasn't in 'Nam. And it wasn't a woman. Anyway, I'm sorry that that the white guy got shot. And I'm sorry that little Iraqi fucker got away. He'll probably go and build some weapons of mass destruction now or something. Frankly, I blame Smith and Wesson."