Sunday, February 05, 2006

 

Kirsten Dunst to last person in America who finds her attractive: How ya' like me now?

Kirsten Dunst announced today that her goal for 2006 was to be the most unattractive celebrity to still be making movies. She said, "I started planning the move to complete barfugly way back when I was in that vampire movie with Brad Pitt. I looked at myself in the mirror and realized that half closed eyes and snaggleteeth were my thing. That was my hook. I'd be the 'Ugly It Girl.' Well that was long ago and I just felt like this year was my year. So I started parking in handicapped spots. And itching my ass in public, in a bikini no less! And then I thought, well, I might as well go whole hog and buy me a pair of Ugg boots. I love to wear them without socks. I find that the fake sheepskin really traps my sweat nicely and when I take them off, they have no way to breathe so the sweat just turns into bacteria, which smells pretty wrong. Then I put them back on without socks and tah-dah I have feet so stinky that if I were a cartoon, green fumes would be coming off them. I'm so ugly!" She ended the interview by bending over in her low rise jeans so her dingy white thong was visible and then she slapped her own ass twice before farting and skipping out of the studio.

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