Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Jennifer Aniston Saves the World
Jennifer Aniston has begun serious efforts to save the world. She was seen this weekend in Las Vegas gambling, boozing and smoking as the first step toward global change. Ms. Aniston said, "I just feel with the level of poverty in this world, I'd show my support by burning through money at a poker table. I was sitting next to a dark colored man and I let him have a cigarette. That was my first step in my new campaign of philanthropy. The dealer appeared to be Cambodian. Or maybe Mexican. In any case, I tipped him really big. Then Vince and I went back to our suite (which was totally cleaned by a nice Puerto Rican woman who I also tipped) and we played a naughty little game we made up called 'Mr & Mrs. Jones.' I just hope people will continue to see my mediocre movies and pay $9 a pop for the privilege so I can continue to pamper myself and think nice thoughts about the Thai girl I have to scrub my toilets. She totally survived Tsunami Katrina!"