Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Bush Lays Out Plans to Wean America From Middle East Oil
Today President Bush laid out the specifics about the plan he'd mentioned in his State of the Union Address to end "America's addiction to Middle East oil." He said to CNN today, "Here's my plan y'all. I'm gonna get out a map and a magic marker. I'm gonna draw a big circle around all the countries that I call the middle east. It'll be a real big circle 'cause I need get France and San Francisco in there. Then I'm going to use poor 18 year olds to invade those countries. We're gonna kill as many terrorists we can find. What I mean by terrorist is brown people and liberals. And homos. And liberals. Then we're gonna rename the whole damn region Americastan. And then we'll pump all the damn oil out of the ground because it's not Middle Eastern oil, it Americastan's oil. Yeehaw motherfuckers!"