Saturday, February 25, 2006


Angelina Jolie Lives Your Dream Because You Can't

In her latest philanthropic adventure, Angelina Jolie is living the dream of millions of American women because they cannot. Jolie said today, "I know millions of good people in this world say, 'I wish I could spend at least part of my time helping others.' But these good people have enough on their hands with family and jobs so I decided I would do that. Then I saw Brad Pitt, and I knew millions of American women say, 'I'd love to tap Brad Pitt's ass' so I thought, there's only one Brad, and he's with that douchebag so I thought why not steal him away and tap his ass for millions of men and women? I know most everyone dreams about living in Paris, so I thought, why not? Oh and I rub myself in dark chocolate every night and pay full price for Kleenex cottonelle. You know why? Because I can. Because someone might as well. It's great! Just know people, your dream is as great in reality as you think it would be."
In other news, Jennifer Ansiton is up to a pack a day and has cut out carbs, red meat, beer, chocolate, oxygen and quiet walks on the beach because she wants to get back into her Rachel jeans.

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