Monday, January 30, 2006
Title of State of the Union Address Leaked to Public
Today in a well-calculated PR move, Karl Rove leaked the title of the State of the Union address. The President's right hand man said, "The title reflective in nature. It's simple so Americans can understand it. We'll call it: What About North Korea. And what about North Korea. Well, President Bush will outline his new law, which will immediately draft all men, women and children with any sort of defect that prevents them from otherwise being useful members of society. We will then declare war and send them to North Korea with some guns. After that, we'll declare war on and send more people to our new and improved Axis of Evil outposts--brown-eyed people will take some slingshots and stones to Venezuela, anyone with an actual subscription to People Magazine will grab some hand grenades we found in the War Room and row over to the Bahamas, I have some paper airplanes with lasers attached to the wings that I'd like seven year old boys to try out on the terrorists in Belguim. Basically we're going to restore democracy all over the world and kill as many people as we can to do it. And when I say we, what I mean is everyone who is not white, male, over 45, and rich."