Monday, January 16, 2006


Kathy Hilton Disappointed in Daughters' Lack of "Skills to Pay the Bills"

Last night Kathy Hilton took daughters Nicki and Paris out for lessons on shaking their money makers in the hopes that the Hilton daughters would start pulling their own weight.
Hilton said in a question and answer period after the bar closed, "I was really horrified by Paris's sex tape. I mean, she was sucking that backstreet boy's dick for free! And last week Nicki told me she buys her own blow. Everyone knows easy girls don't pay for drugs! I really had to question myself as a parent and the values I'd passed onto my girls. I mean Paris doing it doggie-style with a guy who had less money than she has? I just thank god she's hooking up with that rich Starvarmos Niccholamos. As for Nicki, well she's just not as pretty or slutty as Paris so I suppose she'll keep riding my gravy train. I guess I'll just have to put up with it."

Dude! Those gigantmo tatas are TOTO-ALLY natural writinglady! But tragically the "Hilton mythos" will only grant those fondlicious funbags on the daughter who cleans their plate & when I say "cleans their plate" I mean devours the elder hilton from the crotch up like the trembling prey of the preying mantis.
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