Sunday, January 29, 2006

 

Former Enron Chief, Kenneth Lay, Attended Church Today

According to the Houston Chronicle, Kenneth Lay attended church today. His trial for ripping off millions of Americans will begin on Monday. Lay carried his own bible to church and was later seen huddled in conference with the pastor. The conversation between the two men is as follows:

Lay: Just wanted to check with you father, that it's okay that I tore out these pages here.
Pastor: That seems like a lot of pages.
Lay: I just took out the ones that said the Lord didn't approve of stealing or reaming poor people, or being a greedy white fuck.
Pastor: I'm surprised there were so many that had that content.
Lay: Well, I left the pages in with proverbs about selling one's daughter into slavery, and I highlighted the passages about the homosexuals going straight to hell.
Pastor: Very good, my son. God bless, and good luck tomorrow.
Lay: I don't need luck, bitch. I gave that good for nothing spoiled Yale boy more money than any other campaign contributer. I'm not just a Bush Pioneer, I own the fucking club. Now sprinkle some of that holy water on my head, and get me my own damn alter boy.

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