Wednesday, January 18, 2006


Details of Bush Administration Meetings With Abramoff Leaked to Celebrity Jihad

Despite dozens of requests from the press and from Democrats, the Bush Administration has refused to release details of meetings with Jack Abramoff, until now. A high ranking Washington staffer revealed transcripts to Celebrity Jihad.

The scene: President Bush pours tea and offers two lumps of sugar to Mr. Abramoff.
Bush: I'm looking for a twelve piece set. One that can hold Thanksgiving leftovers and dessert too.
Abramoff (sipping tea, crossing legs): Dishwasher safe, I assume.
Bush: Well that goes without saying.
Abramoff: Colored or clear?
Bush: Clear. We need to see what's inside.
Abramoff: Microwavable?
Bush: I'd prefer that, but there's something about putting plastic in the microwave that gives me the skeevies.
Abramoff: It's been tested. No brain tumors from these goods.
Bush: Still...
Abramoff: Here's what I can offer you: A twelve piece set, the largest container will hold your whole turkey carcass, the smallest container--the pinkie of that Iraqi boy Rummy's been babysitting. All dishwasher safe, and ready to microwave. Are you in?
Bush: Let me check with Papa Cheney.

Next step Tupperware™!
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