Wednesday, January 18, 2006


Brad Pitt--A Little Melancholy

Brad Pitt was a little bummed yesterday after a dinner with Matt Damon and Robert DeNiro. Pitt said, "I just never realized that Jason Bourne wasn't a real guy. I mean I thought he looked a little like the guy from The Talented Mr. Ripley, but Jason Bourne had such gravitas, such humanity. I really felt better about the world when I believed men like Jason Bourne existed. I admired how loyal he was to his girlfriend, and when he set out to avenge her death in the second movie. I really felt that. I would totally avenge Angelina's death if it came to that. In fact, I tried out those moves with the pen and the rolled up magazine after I read Jen's interview in Vanity Fair a few months back."
Pitt later asked girlfriend Angelina Jolie, "Do you think Matt would mind if I called him Jason, I mean just when we're alone?"

Awesome. You should write for the Onion.
I am so sick of Brad Pitt's face.

Who thought I would "miss" Jennifer?

This United Colors of Benetton family in the making makes me nauseated.

Start the Onion in NC
It hurts when you've been tricked like that trust me I know. For example I went to the Bob Marley festival, you know, to see Bob...I didn't know he was dead. I almost asked for my money back but by then I was already stoned.
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